Unfortunately for those of us who have become accustomed to getting a little dose of the supremely hot Dr. Robby on our TV screens every Thursday night, The Pitt just aired its season finale. While the show’s first season contained a perfectly respectable 15 episodes, it’s made me yearn for the halcyon days of the early aughts, when a single season of television was 28 episodes long (or some other such ludicrous number). I mean, what am I supposed to do now without The Pitt? Watch 15 hours straight of Grey’s Anatomy? Ugh, fine, twist my arm.

Naturally, I couldn’t let The Pitt’s Season 1 finale go by un-remarked-upon, so below, please find literally every thought I had during the run of the episode:

1. God, I love these lo-fi opening credits.
2. Damn, McKay is still handcuffed! These cops coming down on her for busting open her ankle monitor DURING A MASS CASUALTY suck soooooo hard.
3. Dr. Robby said ACAB!
4. Seriously, watching Dr. Robby chew out useless police officers and get McKay’s case dismissed (or whatever) is insanely sexy to me.
5. Gloria, stop bothering my precious doctors while they work and go make yourself useful and pick up a stethoscope or something!
6. In many ways, I am on the doctors‘ team.
7. In many ways, the doctors are asking me to leave the ER because I am “a blogger” and “don’t know how to intubate a patient.”
8. Oh, this anti-vaxxer mother is grinding my damn gears.
9. I know she’s grieving her son’s serious illness, but I can’t wait for Dr. Robby to go ballistic on her.
10. An anti-vaxxer mom who’s also against her son playing football…I guess a stopped clock is right twice a day?
11. “I’m an asshole who’s trying to save your son’s life.” Listen to him!!!!!
12. SANTOS TIME!
13. Man, this whole storyline with the potentially abusive dad whose wife is secretly spiking his coffee with progesterone to keep him from harming their daughter is…rough.
14. “Pelvic crush injury” does not sound fun, either.
15. Nor does wearing a “pelvic binder.”
16. Victoria looks fried. Which is quite fair, given that her first shift included a mass shooting and a measles outbreak.
17. And, worst of all, her crush not being into her!
18. Victoria’s pink hoodie has seen war.
19. Where are my queens Princess and Perlah???? I need the Tagalog-subtitled gossip!
20. DANA! GO HOME! You got punched in the face today! Get in a bubble bath! Light a candle and wine-mom out!
21. “Doctors. Always with the me, me, me.” Hell yeah, Dana.
22. Dr. Samira Mohan, you need to marry me.
23. The incel kid doesn’t look any happier about his involuntary psych hold, but I get that, I guess.
24. I love Santos getting roasted for her terrible bedside manner.
25. Ooooh, Robby vs. Langdon smackdown!
26. “I was never high, I was just treating my own withdrawal symptoms.” OK, babe!
27. Ah, the classic confronted-addict move of pointing out everyone else’s problems instead of focusing on your own.
28. If I were a Pitt patient in the immediate aftermath of a mass shooting, I would not be comforted by the sight of two doctors screaming at each other about which of them is more mentally and emotionally messed up.
29. Oh, Dr. King, my sweet angel with the weight of the world upon your shoulders, I just want you to be able to rest!
30. Are Mohan and Ellis…going to kiss?
31. And what of Santos, the third probable lesbian on the show?
32. Medical polyamorous triad?
33. Okay, I know nobody is going to kiss on this show, because this is famously not Grey’s Anatomy, but let me believe!
34. Okay, for all the jokes about Santos’s bedside manner, she’s doing pretty well with this potentially suicidal young man!
35. I wish I weren’t mid-toast-bite for this close-up shot of intestines oozing out of a body.
36. Finally, the anti-vaxxer mom’s husband is standing up for his son.
37. Not well enough, unfortunately, because they’re transferring him to another hospital.
38. Is there an anti-vaxx hospital in Pittsburgh? And is RFK Jr. on the board?
39. Dr. Mohan, no! Don’t cry! I’ll fix it! I’ll fix everything!
40. “I don’t require much sleep and I have a fast metabolism.” Must be nice, Dr. King!
41. Robby staff speech time!
42. Wait, is the day shift…over already? My heart!
43. 112 mass casualty patients in four hours? My God, how are these people not already at a bar drinking heavily?
44. Oh no, not Dr. Robby crying! I’ll fix everything for you too, babygirl!
45. Wait, Mateo is asking Victoria out now? NOW?
46. Okay, it seems like it might be friendly, but of course my girlina Victoria is daisy-fresh and ready to flirt after perhaps the most traumatic first day in history.
47. IS DANA QUITTING? I will riot!
48. Maybe she’s not? But she just took down all of her personal photos!
49. Honestly, I’m glad this show is underscoring the massive and specific toll that the current healthcare crisis is taking on nurses.
50. Not-so-fun fact: It’s estimated that 42 out of the 50 states in the United States will likely experience shortages in nursing staff by 2030!
51. So, you know, if you need hospital care, try to fit it in before then. LOL. Sob.
52. Santos with her hair down? As I live and breathe!
53. I AM ABSOLUTELY SCREAMING and LOL-ing at Whitaker psyching himself up with a little shirtless dance.
54. Such Callie Torres-living-in-the-hospital-basement energy!
55. Santos and Whitaker as roommates? Oh, we are so back for Season 2.
56. Oh no, Jake storyline resolution time.
57. Bitch, it’s time to forgive your ex-stepfather or whatever he is. (As Cher Horowitz’s dad said in Clueless, “You divorce wives, not children.”)
58. “You’re not my father, so fuck off.” Are you nine, Jake?
59. Aw, Dr. King finally picked up her sister! Need a spinoff about these two queening out over pizza and spaghetti.
60. This DoorDash driver who will deliver pizza and beer to the roof where the doctors hide out for an extra $20 also needs his own spinoff, IMO.
61. I love a guy-to-guy pump-up speech.
62. Kiss!
63. Damn, Myrna’s back and all glittered up!
64. Oh God, the rats are back.
65. And they’re being chalked up to figments of a patient’s hallucination!
66. Do doctors really just drink beer in the park after their shifts? Sounds fairly chill!
67. Dr. Abbott uses a prosthetic leg? Did we know that?
68. I forgot Victoria isn’t even 21 yet. Jesus.
69. Everyone’s going around in a circle making fun of Whitaker, and all is right with the world…until an ambulance pulls in.
70. Dr. Robby getting in trouble with the cops for his road beer would be very fitting.
71. “Tomorrow’s another day.” That has never sounded more like a threat, TBH.
72. Beer in hand, headphones on, little walk home unlocked. That’s our boy!