And Just Like That… is, for lack of a more elegant term, so goddamn weird this season. Granted, the Sex and the City sequel series has been pretty damn weird ever since its debut, but in the Season three premiere, we got Rosie O’Donnell as a lesbian nun; Seema lighting herself on fire with a cigarette; Carrie’s enormous gingham crepe hat; an outing to the Times Square M&M Store, and more—so what surprises could episode twp possibly bring? Quite a few, as it turns out.

Below, find every (single) thought I had while watching the most recent episode of And Just Like That…, “Rat Race”:

1. Carrie bringing back the bodycon!
2. Okay, that’s just a tight dress.
3. Showing a hint of bra, no less!
4. OMG, it’s Neighbor from seasons past!
5. I’m so sorry, but I do not remember Neighbor’s name.
6. I could google it, but I’m not going to. Just know that she’s the jewelry designer or whatever currently living in Carrie’s old single-girl apartment.
7. Oh, girl, it really is such a messed-up time to be dating.
8. Sorry, did Former Neighbor get stood up by a psychiatrist, or…her psychiatrist?
9. LISETTE! THAT’s her name.
10. Is the way to meet men in New York just…throwing your phone at them?
11. I really thought this blond mom at Charlotte and Lisa’s school was Edie Falco.
12. It’s not.
13. Not “the Ivy Whisperer”!
14. Now I’m in an anger spiral over the rigged game that is college admissions-counseling at private schools.
15. “F-bomb the rules.” LMFAO.
16. I love you, Lisa!
17. Carrie Bradshaw writing historical fiction? We do, indeed, love to see it.
18. All good fiction famously starts with “It was the present.”
19. Rat-palooza!
20. Someone needs the help of the rat czar, stat!
21. Should I tell my story about how I once took a girl on a date to a bar besieged by rats again?
22. I so don’t get the rules of Carrie and Aidan’s current relationship.
23. So…she can leave him stressed-out Voice Notes?
24. But their postcards have to be blank?
25. Make it make sense!
26. I deeply wish Bi Bingo was a real show.
27. Hey, it’s Shoe the cat!
28. Why isn’t he doing his duty and getting rid of the rats?
29. OMG, it’s Aidan!
30. In my head, Aidan is at his canonical country house in Suffern whenever he’s not on the show, so when he mentions “flying in for the night,” I get very confused.
31. Moving your angry, reluctant pet out of the room before you have sex; one of the few rituals on this show that I actually understand.
32. I feel like they named the character of Lois Fingerhut specifically so that Anthony could call her “Lois Fingerfuck.”
33. Oh, and a “dick-and-mortar” joke. How fun.
34. Not to be a hater, but I feel pretty done with this hot-guy bakery storyline.
35. I don’t mind these baguette fixtures, though.
36. Carrie middle-name Bradshaw, stop letting men set the terms of all your relationships!
37. Even if they’re just trying to be good dads to their weird sons or whatever!
38. Oh, wow, Carrie has won the right to text her boyfriend in an emergency. How intimate.
39. Obsessed with Miranda watching the bisexual reality show instead of C-SPAN.
40. God, Shoe really is so cute, although my dog Frank is not at all happy to see her onscreen.
41. This table Carrie wants to buy is ugly as hell, sorry.
42. I respect the hell out of Aidan’s thumbs-down emoji.
43. Guacamole made tableside? I want these bitches’ lives.
44. Miranda flirting with the tableside-guacamole lady? We love to see it.
45. This whole hate-watching storyline feels just a tad meta.
46. Seema, you’re so real.
47. Who’s this hot British lady flirting with Miranda?
48. And will this storyline be in conflict with her potentially dating tableside-guac lady?
49. I am so shook by the writers of this show creating a part for Rosie O’Donnell for a single episode just so Miranda could say she “took a nun’s virginity.”
50. If two insane Upper East Side moms showed up at my son’s Little League game, I would absolutely blacklist their kids from my college-consulting firm (or whatever it is that Lois Fingerhut, a.k.a. Kristen Schaal, runs).
51. Stupid name and plot aside, I always love to see Kristen Schaal!
52. Never forget, Kristen Schaal is a horse!
53. I’m so proud of Lily for finding the only straight male ballet dancer in New York to illicitly make out with.
54. “You yell at them, and then they like you? It’s sick.” Men are predictable, it’s true!
55. Okay, maybe she/theys are also predictable, because I would also like it if Seema yelled at me, but I digress.
56. Cheri Oteri as Seema’s matchmaker? Okay!
57. Rosie, Cheri, Kristen? Clearly, the theme of this season of And Just Like That… is Women in Comedy.
58. Men don’t like animal print now?
59. Okay, maybe I have no idea what men like.
60. I’m choosing to interpret this reference to “theys and thems” as a hat tip to Che Diaz. We inexplicably miss you, Che!
61. You know what’s fun about living in New York? Being promised there will be “no more rats” and then finding…more rats.
62. Not Lily, breathing into a bag!
63. Aw, mother-daughter bag breathing. Sounds like college admissions season in New York City to me!
64. Seema could wear anything, obviously, but I don’t love her in pastels and pearls. Leave that shit to Charlotte!
65. How much tableside guacamole can two women possibly eat?
66. Then again, I’ve definitely been guilty of returning to the same restaurant over and over until a particular server noticed me, so who am I to judge Miranda?
67. Oh noooooo, Guacamole Girl is straight and married with two kids.
68. Listen, nothing ventured, nothing gained!
69. Too much emoji talk, girlinas. It’s very much 2025.
70. Oh, no, did Shoe get loose?
71. If anything happened to this fictional cat, I’m killing myself.
72. Wait a minute, who’s this hot guy who found her?
73. Is this one of the Hollywood Chrises?
74. Oh, it’s Carrie’s landscape architect! Even hotter!
75. Honestly, it’s cougar season, girl. Forget Aidan and get your life. (Look, if Samantha’s not here, I guess I’m going to have to be her!)